Twerp Travesty: A Valentine's Day Story
by Pokemonfanthings
Summary: Team Rocket decides to play a prank on Ash and friends during the most romantic holiday of the year. Various ships including RocketShipping, PokeShipping, and PalletShipping. Cheese-covered.
1. What Party?

**Welcome!**

 **Author Notes:**

This is one of my few fics that focus on canon characters instead of OCs. I am not sure how many chapters I will divide this fic into but as of this moment, there are about ten chapters with just one-thousand to one thousand and four hundred words each. It won't be much longer than this. My goal is to have this all published by the afternoon of February the Fourteenth.

Some ships that will be featured:

RocketShipping

PalletShipping

PokeShipping

ContestShipping

WishfulShipping

GeekChicShipping

VolcanicAshShipping

Age Headcanons:

Bonnie is nine.

Max is eleven.

May is fourteen.

Drew, Dawn, Iris, and Serena, are fifteen.

Ash, Clemont, Gary, Sophocles, and Lillie are sixteen.

Misty, Tracey, Lana, and Mallow are seventeen.

Brock, Kiawe, and Cilan are eighteen.

Travel Headcanons:

Ash's order of travel is first Kanto, then Orange Archipelago, then Alola (which is why he appears so young in that anime), Johto, Hoenn, back to Kanto with May and Max, Sinnoh, Unova, Kalos, back to Kanto briefly, Orre, back to Alola briefly, and now he is back in Kanto. He spends somewhere between three months to nine months at each location, placing him at about age sixteen for this story.

Other:

I talk about pheromones in this fic, so if you don't know what they are, here is the basic definition from: " _A_ _chemical_ _secreted by an animal that influences the behavior or physiology of others of the same species, as by attracting members of the opposite sex."_ 'Animals' include humans and for my purposes, Pokémon, and that it doesn't have to be 'the opposite sex'. For example, humans who are gay and bisexual have been proven to be affected by the pheromones of a member of the same gender. *throwing this out for potential relevance*

Orre – Orre is a location not mentioned in the anime (as far as I know) but is a part of the game-verse.

 **This fic was co-authored with Chipotlepeppers. Thank you, Chipotlepeppers for your ideas and insights, and for letting me post this on my account.**

 **Thanks for clicking and I hope you enjoy:)**

 **XO**

Holiday parties among Ash Ketchum's friend group had become common ever since his sixteenth's birthday blowout. Now, several months after than spring event, Delia decided to host Ash's first ever Valentine's Day party. Only he wanted nothing to do with it.

"It's lame," Ash told her. "Embarrassing…mom, we aren't ten anymore!"

"Pikachu pika," Pikachu chanted in agreement.

"Don't be like that. I've already talked to Dawn, May, and Misty. They think it's a lovely idea."

"Mommm…"

Someone knocked on their door. Ash used that as an excuse to leave his mother and the conversation. But the fun continued.

"Sup Ashy-boy," Gary said as he gave Ash an unwelcomed noogy.

"Don't touch me," Ash grumbled as he wiggled from Gary's grip.

"Why are you in such a bad mood?" Gary asked as he sat down at the Ketchum's kitchen counter.

"Why are you acting like you live here?" Ash retorted.

"Gary's been helping me around the Pallet House," Delia explained. "So, he and I have been hanging out more."

"Why?" Ash asked.

"Because my grandpa's trying to get me some assistants for when I take over, and he wants to train them, so he doesn't need me around as much," Gary said.

Gary rested his feet on a stool and filed his nails. Ash fumed at his arrogance and nonchalant responses.

"And I heard you're hosting a little lovey-dovey get-together," Gary continued. "Cute. Got a hot date?"

"I'm not hosting anything," Ash asserted.

"You finally have a group of friends. Keeping up appearances is important for a young Pokémon master," Delia said in this infantilizing tone that Ash despises. "I already talked to Gary about it; he thinks it's a good idea. He's already offered to help."

"Wha…?"

"Don't worry, Ashley, I am not replacing you as my son," Delia told him, still using her cutesy-tone.

"I don't care about that, what I care about is—"

"Pokémon," Gary and Delia sighed together.

"Duh," Ash replied. "My friends wouldn't be interested anyway; we all live far apart from one another and we only meet up all together for important stuff, like—"

"Pokémon competitions," Gary and Delia replied in unison.

"This is weird," Ash muttered.

"I'll get you a date," said Gary. "There's that Clemont kid…and Kiawe. I know you like Kiawe."

"I'm going for a walk," Ash said as he grabbed his knapsack. "You…never mind. Bye."

 **XO**

"Interestin' stuff," Meowth said as he lowered his binoculars and pushed his earpiece aside.

"All the twerps in one place…but the whole 'us versus all of them together' setup never seems to work in our favor," said James.

"All that is in the past so it no longer matters," Jessie said as she walked towards the back of their hideout.

She looked out the window and watched as Ash and Pikachu joined Bulbasaur, Pidgeotto, and Muk in the Ketchum's front yard. She huffed and crossed her arms.

"Maybe we shouldn't turn this opportunity into just another Pokémon-stealing scheme," Jessie mused.

"What? Yous nuts?" Meowth quizzed.

"What other scheme can we make it?" James asked.

"Let me explain," said Jessie. "The ultimate day of cheesy love is approaching…what if we lure Pikachu and the twerps into traps of a different breed?"

"I don't know what you are talking about, Jess. You are going to have to spell it out," said James.

"But not literally cuz I hates spellin'," Meowth piped.

"I'm still thinking. I'll let you know when I am there."

"Yere gonna do some thinkin'? Uh-oh."

"Jessie's plan will be great," James said as he nudged the scratch-cat Pokémon.

"Yes, great it shall be," she confirmed.

 **XO**

"You can count me in," Misty said as she tossed baitfish to her Dewgong and Seel.

"I am so happy. Ash really likes you…but you knew that already," Delia replied.

"Well, he is my best friend. I have to like him a little bit," Misty laughed into her phone.

"We'll meet up tomorrow then. Thank you, Misty," Delia said before hanging up.

"It's never a problem, Mrs. Ketchum. Talk to ya later!"

Misty sighed as she tossed her phone onto the nearest chair. She looked around the gym, hoping to see one of her sisters coming to help her finish up all the work, but no one was in sight. She called Tracey.

"Daisy, Violet, and Lily ditched me again," she said flatly. "Would you mind helping me close up?"

"I don't ever mind! I'll ask Professor Oak to borrow an Abra for teleporting," Tracey responded.

"You're the best."

"It's no trouble. See you in a few."

Tracey was at her door within minutes. As usual, he wore his pool-ready wardrobe in case Misty asked him to clean the drain again, and the smile was there despite this being a huge inconvenience for him. Misty handed him a list.

"Clean the drain…saw that coming," he laughed. "Scrub the Dewgong and Seel trough, sweep the upper catwalk, vacuum the office, and refill the Pidgey-feeder out back. Not so bad. What else is there?"

"I still have to feed the Sharpedo and Carvanha, put new oil into the buggy, change the filter of the main pool, and get rid of the gum that some stupid kid stuck at the bottom of my arena," she answered.

"It's amazing how you manage to run this place as well as you do."

"I try."

As they both got through their list of chores, Misty thought about Delia's idea. A reunion ball held at the Pallet House Motel and Restaurant. Delia has been wanting that place to bring in more customers for a while, and this was an effective way to do so. She knew Tracey would be invited, and obviously Ash would be present—whether he wanted to be or not—and that meant she had an important decision to make:

"Goldduck, should I be safe and moral and ask Tracey or hurt Tracey's feelings and take a risk asking Ash?" she asked her Pokémon.

"Gol gol~," Goldduck mumbled.

"I like them both, but the idea of Ash going with someone other than me is unsettling," she replied. "And since most of his friends are female…"

"Gol duck duck."

"True, he could be gay. He sure likes Kiawe…"

"Goldduck Goldduck."

"Either way, he's got far more options that I do, or than Tracey does. I'll ask Ash what he thinks of the idea…then go from there."

"Goldduck."

 **XO**

Final Notes (then none for several more chapters):

Pallet House – the restaurant/motel that Delia owns and operates. It is across the street from Ash's house.

Kiawe- I know that probably most readers haven't watched the Sun and Moon anime, but after watching three episodes I became a big VolcanicAshShipper and I invite you to join me.

Hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Please review if you can.


	2. Notes to Note

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed so far! I hope you enjoy this next chunk:)**

 **XO**

"Why do yous want us to be writin' love lettas?" Meowth asked Jessie as he stared at the blank sheet of paper in his paw.

"It's called role-playing, Meowth. You are pretending to be the twerp. I already told you what to write. Don't be difficult," Jessie chided.

"I think it's fun," said James.

"I tink it's lame and borin'."

"Do you have a better idea to take advantage of this opportunity?" Jessie asked.

"No…"

"Their reactions may be quite hilarious to watch," James said happily

"I can't tink like a twerp. I'm an intellectual."

"Wobbufet!"

"Shut it, yous."

"I believe in you," James told Meowth. "Ash isn't that complicated."

"Who's Ash?"

"The twerp!" Jessie exclaimed. "Ummm, right James?"

"Yes. He's the chief twerp," James replied.

"Right…" said Meowth.

"These letters will throw them all off and give us a good laugh," said Jessie. "And as we are laughing, we'll take advantage of their lowered spirits and grab as much of their Pokémon as we possibly can!"

"Wobbufet!"

"Read this and let me know what you think," James said as he handed Meowth a letter.

Meowth cleared his throat and read:

"Dear Misty,

It's beena while since yous and I got together alone. I think you and I should meet up and get all cozy 'n stuff in dat dere clearin' in de Viridian Forest near yere house. It should be tommorra at night 'bout ten and please don't call 'cuz my phone ain't workin' too well nowadays. And dis is a private matta so please don't bring no Pokémon wit yous to our meetin'.

Lots of kisses,

Ashley."

Meowth glanced over the letter, handed it to Jessie, who read it for herself, and then she laughed. Meowth laughed too. James snatched the letter back.

"Why are you being so rude?" he asked defensively.

"Cuz you ain't no good at writin'," said Meowth.

"It's not my writing that was bad, it was the way you read it!"

"It's fine, James. At least it looks like something Ashely would write," said Jessie. "Here is mine:

Dear May-bae,

I have been in love with you ever since we first locked eyes! There is nothing I love more than your not-so-annoying peppy attitude and decent sense of style. I think we should meet in the Viridian Forest in the spot near my house tomorrow night at ten. Please don't bring any Pokémon with you; I want this to be private and special. Also, my phone is broken and so is my email so don't try to message me before then.

All my love,

Ashley."

"Dat's good," Meowth grinned.

"We can have our spy cameras record their interaction in the woods and in the Pallet House and in meantime we will steal all of their Pokémon," said Jessie. "We'll get tons of rare and powerful Pokémon and a show. Plus, our plan is fool-proof!"

"I wanna read my letta next," said Meowth. "Ahem:

"Dear My One True Love,

I loved yous eva since weeze were little kids playin' in school and whateva. I have been jealous of yous foreva and de truth is dat I loves you lots and I'm havin' trouble controllin' it since now I'm a teen and all dat. Please come (no pun intended) to de Viridian woods in dat nice little clearin' not far from yere house and my house. Please don't call cuz my phone broke just come and don't' bring no Pokémon neiter.

Love,

Your Ashy-Boy."

"This is brilliant," Jessie said as Meowth proudly folded the letter.

"And hilarious, though I do feel bad," James sighed. "What if Ash is truly in love with one of them?"

"It don't matta," said Meowth. "We are de bad guys, rememba?"

"I remember," James mumbled.

The team wrote several more letters each and then called it a night. They didn't sleep well though; they were all looking forward to seeing their creative plan reach success.

 **XO**

It was eleven the evening of February the 13th and Ash was staring at his computer screen with a dull look on his face.

"Pikachupi? Pi~?" Pikachu asked as he nudged his trainer.

"Ssssorry buddy," Ash sighed as he petted the top of Pikachu's head. "I'm just trying to figure something out."

"Pika?"

Pikachu scanned the computer screen. It was some article with a heart-shaped logo next to its title. Pikachu then opened the notebook resting on the ground near Ash's feet. The Pokémon picked it up and tried reading. He couldn't understand the words in their written form, but he did recognize the pictures and the tally marks under them.

"Pikapi~?"

"Hey! It's not what you think," Ash said as he snapped the book shut. "It's not like I am rating them…"

"Pikachu!"

"Okay, let me explain…I just gotta gather some thoughts."

Ash took out his phone. His scrolled through some pictures; some were recently taken, some were old and had to be converted into a different format. Pikachu was patient.

"If I tell her I like her, then it might ruin our whole group friendship," Ash started. "Because Misty is friends with May, Sakura, and Duplica, May and Duplica are friends with Dawn, Dawn is friends with Iris, Iris is friends with Serena, Serena and Misty are also friends, and both Serena and Misty are friends with Mallow, Lillie, and Lana—and that's just the girls. I also have to worry about Tracey, Brock, Richie, Max, Drew, Cilan, Clemont, and my mom probably invited my not-so-friendly rivals…like Paul and Gary and maybe Harley..."

It was clear that Pikachu still didn't understand.

"Like, what if Misty likes-likes Tracey? Or what if Misty likes-likes Gary or Brock or Tracey? This stuff is all so frustrating. This is why I like Pokémon so much; Pokémon don't make my head hurt."

"Pika?" Pikachu asked as he pointed to a picture of Serena. Ash instantly blushed.

"Ummm yeah, so at least I know she likes me…" Ash mumbled. "And I like her too…"

Ash put another tally mark next to Serena's picture. Pikachu cocked his head to the side, indicating that he found the action nonsensical.

"I'm weighing the pros and cons," said Ash. "It's not about who I like the most, it's about…like…okay, so I was thinking that maybe it would be about which person I would ask to…to…Well, it's Valentine's Day, and what if someone tells me that they like-like me or they ask me who I like-like and I can't avoid the question? Like, should I make it easy and say that I like Serena, even though Clemont told me that he likes-likes her? If Serena asks me if I like her, do I say 'yes' or 'no'? What if May asks me out? Brock told me she likes me…but he also said that about Misty…and Brock and Misty get along better than me and Misty do, and they are both gym leaders and closer in age…it's so confusing. Life was easier before sixteen."

Pikachu pointed out that though Ash is numerically sixteen, his mannerisms and use of vocabulary put him closer to age twelve. Pikachu put his paw over the person he wanted Ash to choose.

"No! I can't do that!" Ash said as he flipped the picture down.

"Pikachu Pi!" _Then why was it printed out along with the others?_

Ash didn't have to guess what was going through the Pikachu's mind. He decided to numb his mind with a game of Tetris with his computer on Flux mode, ultimately knocking him out before the clock hit February the 14th.

 **XO**

 **Thanks for reading. Please review if you have the time:)**


	3. Shot

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed so far! Feedback means a ton to every author so it's important to us that you review:)**

 **XO**

The TRio was awake with the Spearrow, ready to put the next part of their plan into action. James cradled the gun in his hand almost lovingly.

"Don't be so casual with it!" Jessie whispered when she noticed him holding it as if it were his infant son. "If people think it's a real gun, we can get fired from this gig!"

"Right, the children," James sighed as he put the strongly modified gun back in its bag. "But I never shot anyone with pheromones before. I'm excited."

"I know," Jessie sighed. "And these aren't just any pheromones; it's mixed with our lovey-dovey Shuckle Solution…bound to stir up lovey-dovey feelings. It's perfect for teenagers! I'm excited too…but don't let anyone see it."

James gave Jessie and Meowth a thumb's up when the weapon was fully concealed. They gazed into the distance together.

"They grow up so fast," James sighed as he watched the Pallet House. "Do you think Delia started breakfast at her motel yet?"

"It's six in de mornin'," Meowth pointed out. "Maybe. Yous wanna check?"

"She makes delicious cornbread," James replied. "And _tuna melts_."

"Mmmmhmm…she does make good tuna melts," Meowth agreed. "I wanna check too."

The boys looked to Jessie. Her stomach growled. She agreed to go on a simple swiping mission with them.

Delia and Gary were humming along as they moved about the kitchen. The TRio almost laughed hard enough to give themselves away.

"It's like dere already married," Meowth laughed.

"Wait, do you mean Delia and Gary?" James asked after he and Jessie stopped giggling.

"No, de two twerps!" Meowth retorted. "Duhhh. Delia would neva go fere a kid. Use yere brain fer once."

"I was just making sure we were all on the same page," James mumbled.

"Did you hear something?" Gary asked Delia as they began rolling cookie dough together.

"I did," Delia said as she looked to her Mr. Mime. "Mimey, can you go…oh, never mind. It might just be Ash, or some Pidgey or Spearrow. I've never had a customer before seven."

The two continued to bake and talk as Jessie, James, Meowth, and Wobbufet helped themselves to some leftovers from last night's dinner. The trio ate and stocked up for almost an hour and would have continued if it weren't for the fact that Ash got out of bed and Wobbufet sucks at being subtle.

"It's Team Rocket!" Ash dumbly exclaimed as the TRio stood poised and ready to recent their motto.

"To denounce the evils of truth and—"

"—hell no," Gary interrupted as he sent out his Arcanine, Umbreon, and Blastoise. "Team, let's make this win a snappy one."

"Hey, it's my job to fight Team Rocket!" Ash scolded Gary as Pikachu jumped into action.

James released Marenie and Jessie sent out Mimikyu. Meowth brandished his claws and Wobbufet stood prepared to battle. But they didn't attack because it seemed that Gary and Ash were on the verge of having their own match.

"You can use a little help," Gary was telling Ash. "Because if you were actually a strong trainer, these three would have known to avoid you by now."

"I always beat them and I always send them far away!" Ash argued.

"Then why are they still here?"

"Because they are obsessed with Pikachu!"

"No one is that obsessed," Gary nonchalantly replied. "Arcanine, use Flamethrower, and be generous about it."

Wobbufet prevented James and Meowth from suffering third degree while Jessie and Mimikyu attacked with Shadowball. Pikachu whipped the ball away with his Iron Tail, and as a result, caused the sphere to collide with James' backpack. Their modified gun dropped and slid across the floor. Meowth chased after it. After Meowth scattered and scampered to get hold of the gun, Gary yelled:

"The cat's got a gun! Watch out!"

Ash either didn't here or was too proud to retreat. He asked Pikachu to fire a Thunderbolt in Meowth's direction. With barely anytime to prepare and attack and no shield, Meowth followed his instincts and ducked and fired. Ash and Gary were covered in a pink pollen that smelled of strawberries mixed with sweat.

"What the hell is this shit?!" Gary angrily asked as he sniffed the formidable odor.

"It's—"

"None of your business," Jessie said as she grabbed the back of James shirt. "It's time for Team Rocket to blast off."

Jessie hit a button on her remote and their balloon automatically flew towards them. A rope systematically dropped from the basket. The TRio began to climb.

"They are not getting away," Gary asserted as he sent out a Braviary. "Drill Peck, Braviary, Shadowball, Umbreon, and Hydro Pump, Blastoise."

Wobbufet skillfully blocked every attack, and then the gang was off.

"Pathetic," Jessie half-sighed, half scolded. "We didn't even make it passed the morning."

"Dat dumb Gary kid is stronger den most of dose otha twerps," said Meowth.

"But they still got hit."

Jessie, Meowth, and the other Pokémon turned to James.

"The Shuckle-and-pheromone love potion got all over Gary and Ash," James continued. "And if the solution works as that Heleni woman said it would, then it means that those boys are in for a rough day."

"Hmm. Meowth, pull up the cameras," Jessie requested.

The TRio's iPads were connected to a series of twenty cameras located throughout the Pallet House and the natural areas surrounding it. The first thing they noticed was Ash and Gary using the restaurant's hose to wash the potion off their bodies. Meowth rolled up the sound.

"This is your fault," Ash was arguing.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Gary replied.

"Your Umbreon's Shadowball hit James' bag instead of hitting him."

"That was Mimikyu's Shadowball that Pikachu hit back towards them. And it's your Pikachu who nearly Thunderbolted that Meowth, which is why it shot us with whatever the hell this crap is."

"It smells worse than a skunk."

"But it smells better than you."

"Ha! Maybe…"

Team Rocket watched as their encounter became increasingly less hostile and more brotherly.

"I'm sure the stench will go away before all your girlfriends come over," Gary said as the boys changed into a set of clean clothes. "And thanks for the clothes."

"It's no problem," Ash said as he watched Gary from behind.

"Are you okay?" Gary asked when Ash was quiet.

"Totally, just um…distracted."

"Nothing new, then Ashy Boy."

"Hey…okay, you're right. And don't call me Ashy Boy anymore; it's lame."

"Then I will just call you Ashy."

"K, that's better I guess."

"Hmm…they are being polite to each other," Jessie hummed, mostly to herself.

"I wonda if our potion can make dose two fall in love," said Meowth.

"Shhh! I can't hear when you two are talking," James chided.

Jessie rested her legs on James' lap, put her arms behind her head, and began snoozing, or pretending to snooze. Meowth scratched up his post as he watched the footage. James' eyes stayed glued to the screen—most of the time.

"Is it me or does Jess smell like strawberry candy?" James whispered to Meowth after her eyelids closed.

"I don'ts got no nose," Meowth reminded him.

"Oh, sorry; I forgot. Never mind."

 **XOXOXO**

Notes:

Heleni is not a canon character but she's there as a little Easter Egg for people who like my other fics. It's not important to the story for you know exactly who she is.

 **Thank you for reading and please review if you have time:)**


	4. Malodorous

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed so far! I hope you hang in there and enjoy chapter four:)**

 **XO**

"You two look extra handsome," Delia said as Gary and Ash descended the stairs.

"Yeah, we clean up well," Gary said as he eyed Ash.

"Mmhmm," Ash nodded, his head far from the scene.

"I know you don't like pictures…but Ash, will you and Gary please pose for at least one? I have barely any photos of you boys together...none since you were little children."

"Okay," Ash agreed, surprising Delia, Pikachu, and Gary.

Gary helped Ash fix up his tie before the two of them stood in front of the fireplace in their formal attire.

"Thank you, love!" Delia smiled as she took a few shots. "No trace of that pollen anywhere."

"You sure?" Ash inquired.

" _Almost_ positive."

"Cool."

Gary and Ash helped Delia with the remaining preparations until their first guests arrived. It was Misty with Brock and Tracey.

"You look serious," Brock commented as Ash and Gary approached the first arrivals. "Like not so much a little kid."

"I agree," Misty said as she handed Ash a small box. "This is a little thanks-for-inviting me gift for your mother. It's from me and Tracey. Brock made sugar cookies and cupcakes."

"Here," Brock said as he gestured to the case in his hand.

"Thanks," Ash said as he took the packages.

Ash spent a considerable amount of time lost in her eyes of aquamarine. He wasn't sure if it was his imagination or not, but it seemed that Misty was leaning into him closer than she had in the past and that she had more than just wisdom in her pupils. But it was all so confusing, now more confusing than it had been the night before, because now Gary's eyes had something more in them too. Either that or they had than special glow all along and Ash had never taken the time to fully appreciate that.

"Are you okay? You are kinda quiet," Misty remarked as she took a step back.

"You don't like parties much, don't you?" said Tracey. "Are you feeling pressure to impress once more guests arrive?"

"No pressure," Ash breathed. "This is all just for fun. So, Mist: Are Tracey and Brock both your dates?"

Misty and Brock smirked, knowing Ash was being sarcastic while Tracey failed to pick up on it.

"Yes," she replied. "Two is better than one."

"Oh, yes, of course," Tracey said semi-awkwardly.

Brock played along well. He kissed Misty's hand and asked:

"Is there anything my date wants from the tea table?"

Misty smiled and rolled her eyes at him.

"Tea would be nice."

"I-I'll get it," Tracey offered. "B-because I already know how you like it."

Brock nodded, silently telling Tracey that he didn't care who got the tea. As far as Brock was concerned, Misty was his little sister and as long as the person she liked wasn't some jerk, he didn't care who she dated.

"Ash, I was going to get tea, do you want some?" Gary asked.

"Okay…thanks."

Brock was amused. He wanted to talk to Ash alone immediately, but so did Misty. He stood and waited for Tracey to return while Misty and Ash conversed.

"I really have missed you," said Ash. "Those days of traveling together were some of the best of my life. I was sad when you left…but I understand how you had to go back and take care of your family's gym. How is everything over their now?"

Misty didn't comment on Ash's sudden maturity and instead responded to his inquiry.

"Some days are busier than others. It's nice being able to battle with new people on an almost daily basis without having to worry about getting lost, running out of rations, and not being able to fall asleep because the tent is too hot or too cold. Tracey helps me maintain the place. I wish you would come and visit more."

"I owe it to you especially after you visited me in Alola and Orre. I want to battle that Mega Gyarados again. And Psyduck, of course."

"Psyduck evolved."

"No way! Finally! When did he do it?"

"Not long after I returned from Orre. I think seeing you again helped. Seeing you grow made him want to grow. I know that sounds kinda lame, but I think it may be true."

"I bet it's because of all your training."

"Surely that's most of it."

Tracey brought Misty her warm green tea with hibiscus and one shot of Miltank-made crème. He sniffed the air, then Ash's coat.

"You smell different," Tracey noted. "I can't quite place the scent…"

"No way!" Ash moaned. "Stupid Team Rocket."

"What did they do this time?" Brock asked as he joined their circle.

"This morning they shot me and Gary with pollen-like stuff that stuck to our skin and clothing. The stuff smelled weird…like body odor and fruit mixed together. We changed all our clothes, even our shoes, rinsed ourselves with the hose out back, scrubbed every inch of our body, and according to Tracey, the stench is still here."

Brock sniffed Ash's shoulder. "You _do_ smell weird, but it's not that bad."

"I noticed that too but didn't say anything," Misty confessed.

Tracey, Brock, Misty, Pikachu, and Tracey's Azumarill continued to sniff Ash and the air around him. He crossed his arms and huffed in frustration and irritation.

"Go smell Gary instead," he grumbled.

"That would be weird," said Brock.

"It's weird now," Ash pointed out.

"I'll do it," Misty offered, mostly because of her curiosity.

Misty took her tea with her as she approached Gary, who was talking to someone on the phone. He ended the conversation once Misty was within earshot.

"You didn't have to hang up," Misty said as she moved closer to him.

"It wasn't important," Gary shrugged. "What's up?"

"The tea Delia made is good; you should have some. Do you want to try mine?"

"That's a nice offer but I already had some; I made it, not Delia."

"Oh. It's sweet of you to help her out."

Gary shrugged. "She's a nice lady, and it's probably rough running a business without anyone else around but a Mr. Mime."

"Ash's Pokémon don't help her out?"

"They do sometimes, but mostly they are at the Poké Pelago, training, or resting. I haven't had as much to do at the lab these last two months."

Misty noticed the odd scent on Gary too. What she didn't notice is how it subconsciously convinced her to talked to him longer than she planned. Ten minutes flew by quick, and she hardly noticed May, Dawn, and several other contest-goers arrive. Another ten minutes went by, and she didn't notice Iris, Cilan, and Cilan's brothers appear. It wasn't until May dragged her out of the conversation that she turned her primary focus away from Gary.

"I didn't know you liked him," May said as the girls entered the warm hotel.

"He's okay. He's a lot like Ash," she replied.

"You were making Ash jealous; you know he's got a huge rivalry with Gary. And it's not just that, Ash likes you back. You made it double-worse by flirting with Gary right in front of his eyes."

Misty looked to Ash, who was watching her and looked away the moment her eyes hit him.

"If Ash was better at holding a conversation, then I wouldn't have been drawn to Gary," Misty reasoned.

"No one is talking to Ash now," Misty said as Ash loaded his plate with heart-shaped cookies.

"Okay," Misty agreed, mostly because she noticed Drew waiting to talk to May. "You and I will catch up later."

"Def," May said before they parted ways.

"Hey Ash," Misty said as she took a plate for herself. "Gary smells like you, by the way."

"Oh, okay," Ash murmured. "So…what did you…talk about?"

"Pokémon," Misty said with a smirk.

"Really?" Ash asked, sounding relieved.

"Yep. And travel, I didn't know that you were going to go back to Orre."

"Yeah, um, the Coliseum is an interesting place. I was talking to Gary a lot this morning and I mentioned it. I don't have any definite plans yet."

"He sounded interested in going too since he's never been there. Maybe you two can go together."

Normally a comment such as that would make Ash scowl and say 'no way!', but instead he nodded, as if he was taking her idea into consideration. Ash looked around and saw that everyone his mother—and Gary—had placed on the invitation list was present; even Misty's sisters, who were chatting with Tracey. Misty followed Ash's eyes.

"My sisters will show up for a party but not to help with the Cerulean Gym," Misty muttered peevishly. "I love that place but I can't do it all on my own, not forever."

"Tracey lives nearby," Ash said absently.

"He comes at least twice a week to help me with the maintenance, but I can't afford to pay him more than a few bucks and he always refuses to take the money anyway. I don't like taking advantage of him."

"I would take advantage of him...you, know, not Tracey in particular, but extra help. That I would take advantage of."

"If you are around, maybe you could help out sometime. I bet some of my Pokémon have missed you."

"Totally. It will be annoying living in Pallet again with my mom smothering me…but Gary…"

"…is another reason for you to stay in Pallet?"

"No, I mean, if Gary is here all the time, then my mom will probably spend less time hovering."

"And maybe you and Gary can finally become friends."

Again, Ash would normally exclaim 'no way!' at this point, but he was quiet instead.

"You won't admit it, but you like Gary," said Misty.

"No way!" he exclaimed. "I-I'm not gay!"

Some of Ash's Alola squad heard Ash's retort and playfully sniggered while both Sophocles and Kiawe looked away in slight embarrassment.

"Whatever you say," Misty retorted. "And I didn't mean in a gay way, btw. I mean that you spent so many years despising Gary that you refuse to see how much he's changed. Like all your rivals, he's made you a stronger trainer, and you should appreciate that."

"I do," Ash replied, thinking of all the niceties he's used on his various rivals. "I don't hate Gary, he just gets annoying. He thinks he's the best trainer in the world and that one day he will be the best researcher in the world and it's annoying to be around people with that much arrogance."

"I know the feeling," she said as she gently pushed Ash's shoulder. "I'm going to go talk to Kiawe now."

She added a wink and Ash grew nervous.

"What are you going to say?" he whispered as he tried to follow her.

"I am going to tell him about your crush, obviously," Misty said as she rolled her eyes.

"Please don't."

"Oh, so there _is_ a crush."

"No!"

"You can't stop me."

 **XO**

 **Thank you for reading and please review if you have time** **:)**


	5. Deli Delivery

**XO**

All three rockets and their Pokémon were watching and listening intently, occasionally giggling.

"This is better than the Gilmore Girls reruns," James said as he dug into some balloon-popped corn.

Meowth rolled his eyes. "Everythin' is betta den de Gilmore Gurls reruns."

"It appears you didn't fail," Jessie told Meowth.

"Whena weeze goin' to steal dere Pokémon?" he inquired.

Jessie looked back towards the screen of James' iPad. Ash was flirting with three people at once, Clemont appearing the most awkward of the bunch. Jessie sniggered.

"Tonight, after their little meeting in the forest," she decided. "When they are all tucked into their motel rooms beds."

"But dere Pokémon are probably goin' be wit dem."

"We can pull a reverse Santa Claus," she replied.

"We've done that in the past…" said James. "Remember when we captured those shiny Nidoran from that kid in Vermillion?"

"Dat was 'bout seven years ago," said Meowth. "But perhaps weeze still got it."

"It's a brilliant idea," Jessie said as she patted James' back and rested her elbow on his shoulder. "That is why I like it. James?"

"I'll do whatever you want," he replied.

"Er…yous know I'm still here. Save de love-love faces fere when I'm gone," Meowth remarked.

"Wobba," Wobbufet agreed.

"Don't be an ignoramus," Jessie chided. "Now be quiet; I want to enjoy the show."

 **XO**

Misty was carrying her empty plate to the dishwasher of the Pallet House when a Delibird knocked on the window. She opened it and the bird handed her a sealed envelope.

"Thank you, but I don't know who you—"

The bird was gone before Misty could finish her sentence. She opened the envelope and read:

"Dear Misty,

It has been a while since you and I got together alone. I think you and I should meet up and get cozy and stuff in that clearing in the Viridian Forest near your house. It should be tomorrow night at about ten and please don't call because my phone isn't working too well nowadays. And this is a private matter so please don't bring Pokémon with you to our meeting.

Lots of kisses,

Ashley."

Misty gaped. _'What a joke._ ' She crumbled the paper and tossed it towards the nearest trash can, not caring when she missed.

"I have no idea what that was about," she told her confused Marril. "But I'll go to this supposed meeting with Ash and see what's up."

"Mar?"

"Yes, I would like you to come with me."

After Misty trashed her note, that same Delibird hunted down May, who was taking a break from the party to clean up the frozen paws of her Leafeon and Eevee.

"Oh, hey," May greeted the messenger. "You have a note for me?"

"Deli," it said as it handed May the envelope.

"Thanks," May said as she waved it goodbye. "Let's see what this is about.

Dear May-bae,

I have been in love with you ever since we first locked eyes! There is nothing I love more than your not-so-annoying peppy attitude and decent sense of style. I think we should meet in the Viridian forest in the spot near your house tomorrow night at ten. Please don't bring any Pokémon with you; I want this to be private and special. Also, my phone is broken and so is my email so don't try to message me before then.

All my love,

Ashley."

"What the hell?" May remarked as she looked at her Pokémon. "This doesn't sound like Ash at all! This must be a prank."

"Eevee?"

"Yes, Eevee, I think that someone is messing around with me…unless…nah, Ash wouldn't write something like this…or would he? He did call me May-bae a few times, but I always thought he meant it in a joking kinda way. I should follow the directions on this note and try to figure out what is going on."

Her Pokémon nodded. May folded the note and stuck it into her back pocket. Five miles away, Jessie, James, Meowth, and Wobbufet were dying from laughter.

"She fell right for it!" Jessie laughed. "I told you my letter was the best one!"

"Hey, Delibird still didn't get 'round to deliverin' mine," Meowth protested.

"And we each wrote several," James reminded them.

"Either way, this is getting good," Jessie replied.

Meowth backed away from his teammates, who were making him nervous.

"If yous two want alone time, yous just gotta ask," he mumbled.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Jessie queried.

"Dere is somethin' in de air," Meowth mumbled.

"In that case, maybe you should give us some space," she retorted.

"Hmm…okay. I got my own iPad; I'll be 'round de corner. Yous two enjoy doin' whateva."

"How will we know you won't spy?" James asked as Meowth started to walk away.

"I gots betta tings to watch den yous two on a date," Meowth answered.

"Right…see you later," said James.

 **XO**

Kiawe was reading over the letter Delibird had delivered to him:

"Dear Kiwi-sama,

I know that you and I are many ages apart but I still feel as though you and I can work out. You see I have been admiring you for years and I am finally ready to take our friendship to the next level. That is why at ten tonight I want us to meet under the stars—in this little clearing in the Viridian forest exactly half a mile from my house. Please come, and don't bring any Pokémon with you. Also, this is a secret so don't talk about it at all.

Love,

Your Ash."

"Maro, maro, maro!" Kiawe's Marowak laughed.

"This is utter trash," Kiawe sneered. "Ash is weird but not _this_ weird. Even if he did have a crush on me, he wouldn't have put it down in a piece-of-shit love note."

"Maro?"

"I'm sure. He's weird, but not _this_ weird."

"Marowak maro mar."

"Theoretically you could be correct, but I find it doubtful."

"Marowak mar."

"Perhaps I will go to this meeting. Come without Pokémon? I have no idea what that is about. You are definitely coming with me in case this is a trap, and it probably is a trap."

"Maro."

Kiawe almost bumped into Clemont, who was on his way to the storage closet.

"I got the broom Delia requested," Kiawe said as Clemont hurried passed him. "So you don't have to go back there."

"I know…" Clemont said awkwardly. "I'll just be a minute."

When Kiawe was gone, Clemont reread the note he found placed in his bag:

"Dear Clemont,

Two people like you and me out to spend more time together. By that, of course, I mean that you and I should maybe make something official between us. Almost everyone thinks that me and Serena should get together, but I think it should be you and me. Think of all we can discover together. I don't want to talk about this with everyone here, so please talk to me tonight. Half a mile from my house there is a clearing in the woods. Please meet me there at ten. Don't bring any Pokémon—I want it to be romantic so no audience. And don't call or talk to me about it before then.

Love,

Your #1 Fan."

A doodle of Ash's favorite hat was placed at the bottom of the page. Clemont gaped.

 _'_ _What the hell am I going to do? This is bad, really bad_.'

"Bunnelby bunnel bun," Bunnelby said after witnessing Clemont's distress.

"Something is wrong here," Clemont told his Pokémon. "This isn't Ash's handwriting. I should put it in my database and see who it matches." ' _That must be it. Please let this be it_.'

"Bunnellll by."

"I know my database isn't complete but it's a good start."

"Bun."

Clemont haphazardly returned the note to his pocket. He was dreading the potential revelation that may unfold in the evening hours.

 **XO**

 **Chapters Six and Seven will be up later this evening, and the rest of this fic will be published by tomorrow. Happy Mardi Gras:)**


	6. Slight Change of Plans

**XO**

"We are getting good responses from the twerps so far," Jessie said to James.

"Mmhmm," James hummed. "They all seem to be falling for it one way or another."

…

"Is something wrong? You haven't talked as much as usual today."

James looked around to double-check that every Pokémon was gone and that it was just him and Jessie alone in the basket of their balloon.

"I've just been feeling extra-good today. Not much to complain about. You, me, here together. It's nice. You and I don't do a lot together anymore," said James.

Jessie raised an eyebrow. "Do you want to go out on a date?"

"Ha…umm," James coughed as he rubbed the back of his neck. "If you want to."

"Hm. I think I do."

"What are you doing tonight?"

"As usual, whatever you are doing, which tonight is watching our new favorite romantic comedy: Twerp Travesty."

"We ought to be directors," James said brightly. "If we can put together a live show like this, imagine what we can do with our own studio."

"Someday, James. Someday we won't have a boss—we'll be our own bosses and then we can do whatever we want."

"I can't wait."

"Neither can I."

"So, how about a date for tomorrow night?"

"Yes, a formal date, after we bring our winnings to the boss."

 **XOXOXO**

Ash's Alola friends hadn't seen snow since the last time the accompanied Ash to Mount Lanakila over a year ago. They took advantage by starting a snowball fight with Ash's other friends. At some point, they broke into teams: Ash, Dawn, Sakura, Richie, Duplica, Todd, Cilan, Brock, Max, Lillie, Mallow, and Alain versus Tracey, Misty, Gary, May, Drew, Clemont, Bonnie, Serena, Sophocles, Lana, Kiawe, and Iris. They built forts and planned strategies among their teammates. It worked well, but distractions were plentiful.

"Pummeling each other with snowballs is the absolute best way to spend Valentine's Day," Iris said as she quickly made and piled snowballs for her team.

"I thought that since you are afraid of ice-type Pokémon, you'd hate snowball fights. You proved me wrong," Serena said sweetly as she added to Iris's pile.

"I am not afraid of them even more," said Iris. "I even have a Frosglas and Vanillite on my team now to prove it."

The Pokémon mentioned waved, and Vanillite demonstrated and Ice Beam to the sky.

"Pokémon aren't allowed to use attacks in this battle; they can only throw the snow," Kiawe reminded them.

"I'm not cruel enough to hit a human with Ice Beam," Iris retorted.

With the majority of their team talking about how they planned on attacking the other side, Bonnie grew bored and her eyes and thoughts wandered. She noticed her big brother sitting in the corner of their fort all nervous instead of helping plan a strategy. She scooted next to him and tried to look at the piece of paper he was reading. But he quickly shoved it into his pocket.

"Why can't I look?" the ten-year-old queried.

"It's private," Clemont asserted.

"Oooh, is it a Valentine? Did you finally make Serena a Valentine?"

"Sh!"

"Serena's all the way on the other side of the fort. Is that it? Did you really make her a Valentine?"

"Y-yes."

"Are you lying? You look like you are lying. You are definitely lying!"

"Sh, Bonnie, leave me alone."

"No! I have been waiting for this moment for years. If you didn't make a Valentine for her, I bet she made a Valentine for you. Lemme see."

"I don't have anything."

Clemont covered his pocket, adding to Bonnie's suspicion. Now his lying was blatant. She rolled her eyes at him and Clemont backed away.

"I got a Valentine too," she said quietly. "But unlike you, I am not embarrassed about it."

"Who is it from?" Clemont inquired.

"There is no way I am going to read you my Valentine until I get to see yours!"

"Sh!"

Bonnie wanted to share hers and was doubly disappointed because she was fairly certain that Clemont didn't want to look anyway. After her brother turned away she pulled it out and read it to herself for the fourth time since she'd received it:

Dear Bonnie-chan,

I know we haven't seen each other much and it is almost as if we just met, but I think you are the cutest girl in the entire world and I really, really, really, want to kiss you. I think it will be super special if we find a secret place to do it tonight. It should be late, like ten o'clock, and it can be in the Viridian forest. There is clearing about a half-mile away from Ash's house. So, can you meet me there? And can we do it without any Pokémon? (So that we can be alone). Don't call me or write back; just meet me there unless you don't like me.

Love,

Max-a-million hugs and kisses.

"It's so corny and sweet!" Bonnie quietly squealed to Dedenne. "Of course, I am going to go…but Dad and Clemont would have a Miltank if they found out I went out into the woods alone at night without even you, Dedenne. You can hide in my bag and close your eyes and hold your ears shut and I can tell you to come out after our special moment."

Dedenne sniffed the note again, and as was true the first few times Bonnie had pulled it out of her bag, it smelled suspicious. Dedenne tried to tell Bonnie that Max's scent wasn't anywhere on the note, and that it smelled like Wobbafet of Team Rocket, but Bonnie couldn't understand him.

"I am so excited for my first kiss," she giggled childishly.

This time, Misty heard her. Her older teammate moved closer.

"Do you have a special Valentine's date?" Misty inquired.

"I sure do," Bonnie said as she hugged the letter.

"I am jealous," Misty sighed half-jokingly.

"You mean a beautiful woman like you doesn't have a date?! That's terrible, and hard to believe. I thought you had two dates: Brock and Tracey."

"They are friend-dates."

"Oh, I get it. I've had a lot of friend-dates."

"Who is your date with?"

Bonnie gestured for Misty to move in closer so that she could hear her whisper as she revealed the answer.

"That is so cute. I like Max; he's a good kid," Misty responded.

"He is so smart and he's almost two years older than me and still likes me and that is super awesome!" she giggled.

Wobbafet laughed at the scene unfolding on the iPad and turned to Jessie to share his joy, but Jessie wasn't present. She and James were in the balloon while he, Meowth, Marenie, Mimikyu, and Bewear were huddled in an abandoned kids' fort several yards away from their trainers. He sighed. He hated having to share Jessie with James.

"It's cuz soma dat love potion got on dem," Meowth told Wobbafet. "It didn't get on no Pokémon, but it did get on dem. Dose dummies forgot dat even dough I got no nose, I can still smell."

"Wobba waaaa Wobbafet?"

"Nah, if dey get married dey will keeps yous around fer babysittin', so don't worry 'bout it."

"Wa."

Meowth stretched. That was the last of them. It was seven in the evening and everyone who was supposed to get a note got one. Now dinner was being served, and their squad needed to make sure they were around to snatch some food before returning to watch the finale of their plan. But Meowth didn't want to go after Jessie and James, not sure what he would find.

"Come on, yous, we don't need Jessie and James to get us food; weeze can steal it ourselves," Meowth decided.

"Marenie!" Marenie sobbed.

"James still loves you," Meowth huffed. "But I've learned ova de years dat when dey need alone time, de best ting to do is leave 'em. Now if yer comin' follow me. I'm hungry."

Bewear's stomping was so loud that Meowth compelled the giant panda-like Pokémon to stay behind with the iPad while the rest of them stole some of Delia's homemade tonkatsu.

"Ya know, dem gettin' together officially could be good fer yous and me," Meowth told Wobbafet as they headed towards the Pallet House. "Cuz if dere happier, den dey'll be easia to deal wit. I tink it's good dat soma dat love stuff got on James. Weeze can see our lives improvin' from here."

Marenie wasn't happy about it, but Wobbafet was satisfied. Anything for Jessie.

 **XO**

 **THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS READ AND REVIEWED SO FAR!**

 **I will have the whole story up by tomorrow night. Happy Mardi Gras/Ash Wednesday/Galentine's Day:)**


	7. Almost Figured Out

**XO**

Ten was approaching, so Team Rocket's victims were growing anxious. Some of the twerps, namely Misty, Brock, Drew, Gary, and Alain were positive that this was a joke and but much too curious to ignore the situation. Some, namely Clemont, May, Serena, Dawn, were almost certain their notes were a joke but not entirely sure, and others, namely Bonnie and Tracey, were completely sold.

"It is so nice of Delia to not charge us anything for the night even though the motel is struggling to bring in more people," Misty told Dawn and May as they moved their stuff into the large room they were sharing.

"But it's a great way to advertise," said May. "Her food is so good; I have to get my parents to come. I don't visit Ash much anyway and this is a good excuse."

Dawn and Misty shared a grin.

"Are you saying you need an excuse because it would be weird for you and Ash to hang out without one?" Dawn quizzed.

"You are making it sound like I have a crush on Ash. I don't. If anything, you do."

May was staring directly at Misty.

"I am over my crush on Ash," she lied. "It's pointless to chase a childhood crush…it's been almost seven years since the day we met."

"But there is still time," said Misty. "Or maybe he likes Dawn."

"No way," said Dawn. "Actually, it's kinda interesting you say that."

Dawn had her hand in her bag and was fingering a note. Misty and May leaned forward. Dawn sighed and then removed it from her bag.

"So, I got this weird note that is supposed to be from Gary," Dawn said. "But it's so embarrassing that I don't want to show you what it says."

"You don't have to," May said quickly, thinking of Ash's note and how horribly written it was.

"Lemme guess, it doesn't look like anything Gary would ever write even if he did like you," said Misty.

"That's it," Dawn agreed.

"I got one like that from 'Ash'," said Misty. "But I threw it in the trash."

May was red. "Actually, you didn't. At least I don't think….um, so Max found it on the ground. He read it to me, but I thought it was some dumb joke that maybe he made up and I was also paranoid since I got a similar note so I didn't want to think about it…"

"Poor Ash," Misty giggled. "He's lost all of Max's respect."

"I don't think he ever had it to begin with," said May.

"I think it is safe to say that all these notes came from the same source and that the source isn't Gary nor Ash," said Dawn.

"Yeah. I wonder what the point of it all was," said May. "And if we are the only ones who got these kinds of notes."

"There is only one way to find out," Misty said as she watched the clock. "At ten…we'll walk there together. It will be dark so they won't be able to tell that there is more than one of us anyway as long as we are quiet about it."

"I'm in for sure," said Dawn. "I want to know which one of our creepy friends decided to do this."

"Same," said Misty, though she was fairly certain she had already figured it out. "Tonight. We'll be ready."

 **XO**

Jessie and James had managed to steal two wood-fired pizzas, several bowls of tonkatsu, a fresh baguette, and a Ziploc bag of steamed brown rice. The couple put their show on pause and gorged.

"This is the best Valentine's Day ever," James said between bites. "First, we get to watch the twerps get embarrassed, then we get loads of fresh and delish food—plus leftovers—then we get the finale to our show, and tonight we reverse Santa Clause them. It will be easy too since they are all in the same building."

"And it's all because of you and me," Jessie said as she put an arm around James' shoulder.

"And Meowth."

"Pttf…"

"Jess!"

"Okay, so he helped…"

"He convinced Heleni to give him the Shuckle Solution! We wouldn't have gotten it without Meowth."

"You're right. I just don't want to talk about Meowth."

"Oh. I shoulda known."

"Mmmhmm."

Jessie took out a corkscrew and opened the small bottle of red wine they had stolen. James gave her two glasses and she poured.

"Do you think Meowth knows about us?" James said as he gazed at the Pinor Noir.

"We know from our last encounter with Heleni that Meowth has only slightly above twerp-level intelligence. It could go either way. If anything, he likes to think he knows."

"That's true."

"Why are you thinking about it all of a sudden?"

"It's not 'all of a sudden'. I think about it on a regular basis."

"How regular?"

"Weekly. Sometimes daily or bi-daily, or tri-daily, or hourly…so, yes, a regular basis."

"You know that you can just ask me out. You don't have to be in the clouds."

"I did just ask you out! Two hours ago. the problem is that we are always out. Now we are out. Yesterday we were out. Tommorrow and the next day and all the days after, you and I will be out together."

"You've got a point. We can't get married though. Way too cliché."

"Yes, much too cliché. We can't even be a couple. Too cliché."

"Certainly. Too cli—"

"Shuddup! Yous two so annoyin'…weeze only sittin' a few yards away!"

James kneeled and peered over the side of the basket. Wobbafet, Meowth, and the rest of their Pokémon were feasting on the same food they were.

"Well, we didn't know that," James defensively mumbled.

"Hm," Meowth huffed before shoving another pork cutlet into his mouth. "Wah, wah, 'too cliché!' Wobba, dey live fer clichés."

"Wobba!" the blue Pokémon distressfully replied.

Meowth rolled his eyes as he opened a packet of smoked salmon with his barely-existent fangs.

"Yous ain't gonna be replaced, dummy. If anythin', dese twerps will be."

"Jess, it sounds like Wobbafet needs a hug," James whispered to Jessie.

"Later," she decided after some hesitation. "Let's forget that they are there for now."

 **XO**

 **THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS READ AND REVIEWED SO FAR!**

 **Reviews are important to me. Please leave one if you have the time.**

 **I will have the whole story up by tomorrow night. Happy Mardi Gras/Ash Wednesday/Galentine's Day/Valentine's Day:)**


	8. Into the Woods

**XO**

Serena and Iris were amused by the way Bonnie curled her hair and re-applied blush and lip gloss as she 'got ready for bed'. Bonnie made her plan even less subtle by putting her bag near the door and leaving her shoes on her feet as she crawled into her bed and pretended to snore.

"We know you aren't asleep!" Iris called from across the room. "And that you have no plans to go to bed anytime soon."

"It's only nine and it's not like we have to get up early tomorrow," Serena pointed out.

Bonnie yawned dramatically. "Huh? Well, you know me, early to bed and early to rise."

"Deh," Dedenne supportively added.

After being her pseudo big sister for almost two years, Serena was certain that the nine-year-old was full of shit.

"Why are you planning to sneak out?" Serena asked as she walked over to Bonnie's guest bed.

Bonnie couldn't hide her joy and giggled. She gave Serena the note from 'Max'. Serena and Iris read it together. Iris bursted out laughing, and Serena looked away and blushed, embarrassed for Bonnie, Max, and herself.

"Bonnie, this note is not from Max. Iris and I were just talking about this; we both got notes that are equally as awfully written, and yours and mine look like it was done in the same sloppy handwriting."

"Xew, Axew," Iris's MVP remarked.

"And Axew seems to think that these letters are from a suspicious source," Serena added.

"Dedede."

"He's saying 'I told you so' in Pokémon," said Iris. "Serena and I threw away our notes, and we were thinking about how we really don't want to go out into the freezing cold darkness…but we are curious."

Bonnie was weeping. "Why would someone pull such an awful prank? I was so happy. I thought a boy finally liked me!"

Serena hugged Bonnie. "He might like you, all we can say for sure is that this note is not from Max. Max and Clemont were comparing nerd notes together one time and I would have remembered if Max's handwriting was this big and sloppy. And the tone and vocabulary; this is nothing like Max."

"I guesso," Bonnie muttered, still disappointed. "Iris, are you saying that you want to go into the woods?"

"We might as well. You bring Dedenne, I'll bring Axew and Shelgon, and Serena…"

"I'll bring Delphox and Sylveon," she decided.

"We'll be fine. We'll be quiet and stick together and find out who called us there and why."

Bonnie nodded, determined to find out who fooled her and to kick their butt.

 **XO**

Across the hall from the girls, several of the boys were thinking about their notes. While Paul, Alain, some of Ash's older rivals couldn't care less about the notes, Clemont, Cilan, and Brock inevitably started discussing theirs.

"I wonder if it was just us three," Brock mused. "There is no way Tracey wrote me a love note. Tracey's weird and possibly gay, but to this weird and gay."

"Ha, yeah… no one can be that weird and gay," Clemont awkwardly and self-consciously chuckled.

"And he's got better handwriting than this," Brock continued. "Yeah, not him. Then who?"

"I love detective work," said Cilan. "And like you, Brock, mi amigo, I want to find the underlying cause of this."

"W-who was your note from?" Clemont asked, hoping that the answer would neither be Ash nor Serena.

"Iris," said Cilan. "But to save her embarrassment I promptly ripped the note to shreds and kept the remnants in the original envelope! I don't want anyone thinking she had such poor vocabulary."

"I should rip up 'Tracey's' Brock said as he began tearing his note. "The kid gets picked on enough as is."

"He doesn't need any more shade. I agree with that too," said Cilan. "When shall we leave?"

The clock read 9:25 pm. They took a moment to decide.

"We should get moving asap," said Cilan. "Because the more time we spent pursuing the culprit, the more likely we are to figure out who he or she is."

"It's not like we have anything better to do in the meantime," Brock shrugged as he picked up his coat. "Let's be quiet about it; it's still early and we don't want anyone to hear us leave and try to follow."

Clemont was frozen on the other side of the room. The other two boys looked at him quizzically.

"You don't have to come with us if you don't want to," said Brock. "We can tell you what happens later."

"No, I'll go," Clemont decided.

Brock and Cilan stood on either side of the blond as they sneaked out through the back stairwell. The moon was just a sliver and so the stars were their only lights.

"It's so early but so dark and you can see every star. I miss that about traveling," Brock said with his eyes on the sky. "We spent a lot of time in open areas with few lights and those were the nights we slept so well."

"I love my home region but Kanto is a close to my heart," said Cilan. "The Kanto countryside is spectacular. I should visit Ash more often."

"Same," Brock concurred.

Clemont watched both and thought about the implications of their comments.

"Is it because of one person in particular?" he queried.

Brock looked down at him. "Maybe. If not one person, then a few."

"I liked hanging with friends twenty-four-seven; that was definitely a bonus," Cilan replied as he turned to Clemont. "What are you thinking?"

"The reason I left my gym in Lumiose is because I wanted to spend more time with Ash and Serena," Clemont answered. "I didn't think I'd be unhappy after Ash left. He's revisited Alola and spent months in Orre since then, and I am always wishing for him to come back to Kalos."

"Maybe you should come here," Brock suggested. "Ash might want to spend some time at home. You can travel easily by train and come to my gym, Misty's gym, and I bet you could give Lt. Surge—Kanto's electric-type gym leader—a run for his money. And it will help you out with your Japanese."

"Yeah, I could do better with Japanese…" Clemont mumbled as he thought about the possibilities. "But I…"

"But you…?" Cilan tried.

"You can tell us anything. I don't pass along secrets," said Brock.

"Oh, it's nothing. Let's talk about something else," Clemont sighed.

A moment after he said that, the boys noticed Kiawe, Gary, and Drew coming from the other side of the hotel. They merged groups and immediately began talking about the notes.

"That means at least six of us got letters," said Gary.

"I bet it was the girls. This prank has Mallow written all over it," said Kiawe.

"I don't think it was the girls…not all of them, anyway. There is no way May would confess her feelings towards me in a stupid note," said Drew. "She's classier than that."

"And Ash is weird, and probably gay, but not that weird and gay," Gary reasoned.

"That reminds me…the culprit is probably someone not in this group. If Mallow is involved as Kiawe seems to believe, she couldn't have done it alone—because she doesn't know everyone, which means someone had to help her out. There are several males at this event who are not one of us six," said Cilan. "Alain, Paul, Richie, Todd, Ash, Tracey—"

"Tracey," several of the boys said in unison.

"Because it can't be Ash because Ash has too big an ego to purposely embarrass himself like this," said Gary.

"And not Alain or Paul because they wouldn't care about something this petty," said Drew.

"And Richie and Todd are objectively cool, nice guys…I think…" said Brock. "But come on, Tracey? Why would it be Tracey, situational evidence aside?"

Everyone shrugged. The probably all just assumed everything was Tracey's fault.

The boys investigated the clearing. They each had at least one Pokémon by their side, and none of the twelve of them could sense anything suspicious. No weird sounds, smells, or sights. When they did hear a sound about eight minutes into their investigation, it was a large group of girls.

"I knew it!" Iris exclaimed as she hit Cilan. "Not funny!"

"Yeah, you made me cry!" Bonnie admitted after she noted that Max wasn't present—yet.

"Interesting. So, what was the point, boys?" Misty asked.

"We didn't do anything," Gary asserted. "Some dumbass each gave us a shady corny love note and told us to come here without asking questions or bringing Pokémon. We have our monz though because we aren't suicidal."

"We brought our Pokémon too," May said after she released her Leafeon and Delcatty. "But if none of you did it, who did?"

"Who is _not_ here?" Dawn asked.

"Tracey," several members of their large group replied.

"It wasn't Tracey. Tracey doesn't have four different types of handwriting," Brock said as he observed several of the surviving notes with a lighted magnifying glass. "And there is no motivation."

"How could a prank this pointless be motivated by anything?" Drew remarked.

"Who do we know has a Delibird?" Dawn asked the group. "Weren't all our notes delivered by a Delibird?"

"Wait…I just thought of something…." said Brock.

"I haven't seen a Delibird since…oh…uh…." Misty muttered as she looked to Brock, who was looking back at her as they simultaneously came to a revelation.

"Who do we all know who would possibly want to do something this…wait. Shit! I shoulda known!" Gary cursed.

"It turns out we do know someone who would be willing to do something so cheesy and dumb," Brock sighed.

"Three someones," Drew nodded along with them.

"Four, if you count Wobbufet," Iris said flatly.

"Team Rocket!" several of them shouted.

There was nothing but silence in the trees. They yelled out 'Team Rocket!' two more times but there was no response.

 **XO**

 **Happy V-Day! The last few chapters will be up later tonight. Please review if you have the chance and enjoy your holiday:)**


	9. For Credit

**XO**

After eight calls, Team Rocket still didn't respond to their names being called out into the night.

"They would have shown themselves by now, " said Misty. "They must really not be here."

"But it had to be them. Look at this piece of shit! It had to have been written by a Wobbufet," Gary said as he skimmed over one of the letters.

"Maybe they were dumb enough to forget to set up a trap," Dawn mused.

"Maybe they wanted to distract us so that they could break into the motel thinking they could reverse Santa Clause our Pokémon," said Brock.

"Because they probably don't realize that Delia installed a more advanced security system since the last time they tried to break into the motel," said Misty. "And that no one is naïve enough to go into a forest alone at night without their Pokémon under any circumstances."

"Cool party. I'm going back and setting up a game of beer pong in our room if any ladies want to join," Gary said as they began to leave the scene.

"What's that?" Bonnie asked Serena.

"Inappropriate," the older girl answered.

"It's still early…does anyone want to come to my room for a Valentine's Day movie and perhaps some dessert?"

"I've been waiting all day for you to finally hit on one of Ash's friends," Misty said as she twisted Brock's ear.

"Ow! I wasn't suggesting anything dirty; I literally have Mean Girls and sugar cookies in my room!" Brock grumbled.

"I'll hang out with you," May said as she side-glanced at Drew. "Since no one else offered me a date more upscale than beer pong."

Gary shrugged. "You do you."

"Yeah…like he said," said Drew.

"Where's Ash?" someone asked as they continued to walk.

"Right on time," Misty said as she rolled her eyes. "It's 10:15 and of course he's running late."

"And he's with Mallow and Lana, who are also always late," Kiawe noted as the group—including Lillie, Max, and Sophocles, who couldn't run as fast—shuffled through the snow.

"Wha…? What did we miss?" Ash asked as he recognized the hoard of people coming towards.

Cilan explained the findings of their investigation.

"And they didn't even dig a hole?" Ash asked. "But they always dig a hole…"

"No one fell into any traps," Dawn assured him. "Unless you count making us all come out here for nothing."

"Their loss."

"Maybe they just gave up halfway through."

"They probably got too cold to execute the rest of their plan."

"Or they messed up behind the scenes."

"Maybe they are just downright stupid."

 **XO**

The TRio was reunited and resting in a pile in their balloon. They were chuckling and shivering as they enjoyed the finale to their show on Jessie's tablet.

"Look at poor Clemont. The kid looks terrified," James said as he finished off another one of Brock's homemade sugar cookies. "I wonder what he is thinking."

"I know," said Jessie. "He's thinking of how disappointing it is to not have a real love letter from either Serena or Ash."

"Nah, it's just Ash he's interested in," said Meowth. "He don't like Serena much anymore."

"And you're the expert?"

"I am, as a matta o' fact."

"I know how he feels," James said sympathetically. "When I was in school—"

"Yous fell in love wit a boy and lata he played a prank on yous dat scarred yous for life?" Meowth guessed.

"How did you know?" James asked.

Meowth shrugged. "It's written on yere face."

"I think Ash would be better off with Kiawe," said Jessie. "Chief brat-boy needs someone more mature than himself."

"I dought yous shipped him wit de redhead," said Meowth.

"I have multiple ships for multiple occasions."

"I just saw an error in our plan," James said suddenly.

"What's dat?"

"These twerps are now teens."

"Tanks fer pointin' it fer us."

"I mean that since they are no longer little kids, they now have the capacity to stay up all night."

"So do we."

"But if we all stay up all night, then when will we steal their Pokémon?"

Meowth and Jessie drew blanks. The three lay in silence for a while.

"Tomorra?" Meowth guessed.

"I suppose," James sighed.

Jessie placed her hand on James's shoulder. "We will still have our date, so don't you go crying about anything."

"I won't."

"Does dis mean we're gonna call it a night?" Meowth queried.

"Let's try, and if they don't fall asleep, then we will," Jessie decided. "Objections?"

"No."

"Not yet."

"Wobba!"

"Good. Let's wait for a while before we head out. I want to see where these kids plan on going next."

Meowth got to his usual spot in the balloon while he teammates cuddled up on the other side. he watched them for a while, unaware that Jessie could feel his eyes.

"There are plenty of hiding places in the Pallet House's kitchen," she told Meowth. "And it's warm, and there are more options for your midnight snack...why don't you move along?"

"But it's cold out there," James whispered to Jessie. "And we go as a team."

"Take my...hat. Here," Jessie said as she tossed the accessory over to the cat.

"Imma play anti-Santa Claus all by myself?" Meowth asked the couple.

"No, we are coming...just give us time alone. Please."

Meowth gave her a toothy grin. Jessie doesn't say 'please' every day.

"Sure, I'll meet yous dere," Meowth said as he secured the hat on his head. "And tomorra I'll tell de Boss who's really doin' de work 'round here."

 **XO**

 **The next chapter is longer than this one. Have a lovely day and please review if you have the time:)**


	10. Eeny-Meeny-Miny-Mo

**XO**

After the returned from the Viridian Forest, the group decided to hang out in the largest suite—the one which Ash was sharing with Richie, Alain, Paul, and Max. (Some of them) drank beer and guzzled Valentine's Day desserts while watching Yuri on Ice!.

"I had a thought," Ash said as he took a break from his food.

"Share this rare moment in history with us," Misty requested.

"What if that pollen-like stuff Meowth shot me and Gary with has to do with their plan?"

"How?" Brock asked.

"Like…"

Ash lowered his voice to a whisper loud enough for only Misty and Brock to hear.

"What if it…so, I have been feeling different all day. I feel…more…"

"Drawn to people?" Misty guessed, thinkin of her own experience.

"Yes. Or more…them being drawn to me."

"Like you're attracted to them and they're attracted to you," Brock surmised.

Ash blushed.

"Well…yeah…don't laugh."

"We aren't laughing," Misty replied, though she was smiling in her head.

"You have been all over Kiawe," said Brock.

"And Gary," said Misty. "And me."

Ash promptly backed away from her. "I-I am not all over anyone!"

"Everything okay over there?" May asked Ash.

"Uh, yeah," Ash replied.

The others didn't realize it but May had picked up on most of their conversation. She joined their little grouping.

"Does this have to do with that smell?" May asked as she sniffed Ash's hair.

"Ummm yes," Ash confessed.

"I know exactly what that is," May replied.

"I do too, but I didn't want to tell Ash and freak him out," said Brock.

"What are you two talking about?" Ash queried.

"Pheromones. They sprayed you with pheromones," Brock explained. "Very strong pheromones…I bet they are mixed with something else too. But I can tell those are pheromones."

Ash's face was blank. May proceeded to explain.

"Pheromones are the chemicals that make people, animals, and Pokémon drawn to each other. So, if someone already likes you…well, now that you have been blasted with pheromones, now they really like you. And pheromones spread; so, whatever you touched could have traces of it."

"I was just gonna say that," said Brock.

"How do you two know this stuff?" asked Ash.

"Because I am training to become a Pokémon doctor," Brock responded.

"And to be a star coordinator, I have to know almost everything there is to know about Pokémon, including what affects their mood," said May.

Everyone was looking at Misty as if it were her turn to speak. She didn't want to admit that she knew something was subconsciously pulling her towards Ash all day, but the truth is that the pheromones had played her.

"I can see that being true," she said cautiously.

"You two should talk alone," Brock told Ash and Misty.

"For sure," May agreed as she scooted away from the couple.

"Ash, do you wanna talk in the hall?" Misty inquired.

"Yes," Ash decided.

They walked down to the first floor of the motel and strolled down the hall. Marril and Pikachu were with them, but they kept their distance so that their trainers could talk privately.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" Ash started.

"Us, maybe," said Misty.

"Okay…you start."

"I miss you. I love the Cerulean Gym but some days I feel so stuck there. My dream was to become the best water-type Pokémon trainer in the world, but most days I feel like I am going nowhere. I wish I could go back in time and spent more time seeing the world with you."

"You were always my favorite girl to argue with."

They both laughed nervously.

"So, you and Gary…you and Clemont…you and Kiawe…"

"Um, so…the thing is…"

"Do you like me or do you like one of them?"

"No. Yes. No."

"Explain yourself more."

Ash rubbed the back of his neck and looked at Pikachu. The electric mouse was still down the hall with Marril and pretending to ignore him and Misty.

"I think Clemont likes me," said Ash. "I like Kiawe, and I like Gary…but what if it's just that phomonom stuff messing with my brain?"

"Pheromones," Misty corrected. "And I am sure what May said is true: it doesn't create attraction, it just makes it stronger. I know I like you, and I think you've known this for a while now."

"It's news to me. I never knew you liked me. I thought you hated me and liked Tracey or Brock."

"Hated you? Why would I hate you?"

"Because you told me you had a crush on me and then I ignored you and continued traveling without you."

"That did piss me off, but it didn't make me hate you. Not forever."

"I'm not good at this stuff."

"That's because you aren't good at anything that doesn't involve Pokémon…plus some things that do involve Pokémon."

"I'm not totally clueless. And I am a better battler."

"In your dreams."

"We should have a match."

"I don't want to go back outside; it's cold, and we can't have one inside your mother's motel."

"Tomorrow."

"Okay. And what will this solve?"

"Maybe if win it means I am meant to be with you."

"That's lame. What about the others?"

"What others?"

"I am not the only person you like. There is Serena, maybe May, then Kiawe and Gary of course and perhaps Clemont…"

"One at a time, Mist."

"Are you okay? Don't do eeny-meeny-miny-moe. Pick the person you actually like the most."

Ash looked her straight in the eyes. "Okay. I will."

 **XO**

"This sucks!" Jessie said as she threw another Pokéball to the ground.

"I can't believe they thought ahead for once," said James. "I can't believe they outsmarted us. I can't believe it!"

"All weeze got are 'bout two-hundred fake Pokéballs. I hate twerps. Hate 'em!"

"Another day, another fail," James sighed. "Happy Valentine's Day."

"I refuse to accept this. This is a holiday. We are better than this. There is more we can do," Jessie replied.

"We can get some mora dat love potion and spray dem all at once," Meowth proposed.

"Heleni will no doubt charge," Jessie said as she tapped her foot. "I say we dig a hole. We can make one big enough for them to all fall in at once."

"And then Ash can use his Charizard to fly out and incinerate us," said James.

"Or dat blue-haired gurl could use her Togekiss to confuse us again."

"No matter what, they will no doubt have at least one Pokémon that could either climb or fly them out of a hole."

Jessie despised losing her teammates' support. She marched into the distance, feeling more hurt than she normally did would be by James's lack of faith.

"Yous oughta go after her," Meowth said as he gave James a little push. "Cuz accordin' ta Mimikyu, yous been on her mind a lot lately…like maybe yous shoulda done somethin' nice fer her on Valentine's Day."

"We are going out on a date tonight," James replied. "I'll follow her anyway though…but why do you care?"

"Cuz when yous happy I'm happy…soma de time. And dere's still love in de air."

Meowth didn't finish his sentence with James in his presence, as his teammate had run in Jessie's direction, Marenie struggling to keep up with him. Meowth sat on a snowless rock next to Wobbufet and Mimikyu.

"Now all I need is someone," Meowth sighed.

"Wobbufet?" Wobbufet asked hopefully.

Meowth laughed. "Not in yer dreams."

 **XO**

 **Two chapters left! Thanks for hanging around:)**


	11. Stay or Go?

**XO**

Misty stood in the Pallet House's lobby with her overnight bag and winter jacket in hand. Ash was talking with Gary, with whom he had very recently formed a above-brotherly-relationship with. She wouldn't mind if the pairing excluded Ash, but since it did, she felt a heavy melancholy in her chest.

 _'_ _Why do I feel more drawn to him this week? What changed? Is it Valentine's Day…no, that's too cliché,'_ she thought to herself. _'I refuse to believe it was pollen alone that did this to me._ '

"We are going to have a great time together in Orre," she overheard Gary tell Ash. "With those plans…I hope you don't mind facing your most intense rival again."

 _'_ _Why are they being so civil? They normally just argue. Orre, together?_ '

"Ash, are you really going back to Orre?" Misty inquired.

"Yup. There are at least five cities I've never been to and the Coliseum was so awesome," he responded.

"I thought you were going to be around to help me at the gym," she murmured.

Ash didn't' hear, but Gary did. He quickly repeated the message to him.

"Oh, well…you have Tracey, right?" Ash replied.

"Um, yeah, I guesso," she sighed. "Let me know before you leave—we can hang out or something beforehand."

"Totally," he said as he offered her a fist-bump.

She smiled and smacked her fist against his. She didn't want to believe that their last battle would be the one they finished just over an hours ago. She won, she made a wish, but it didn't seem to be coming true.

Clemont was standing nearby and heard them speaking. Brock was talking to him but he was listening. Clemont had something on his mind and he wanted to say it. After a while he mustered some courage and marched up to them.

"I've never been to the Coliseum," Clemont told the crew. "And I don't _have to_ go back to Lumiose."

"You wanna come?" Ash asked brightly.

Clemont's eyes glimmered. "You wouldn't mind?"

"Nah, I'd love it," Ash replied.

"In that case…I might be able to find a sub to oversee my gym…"

Misty thought of her three sisters. Each of them owed her. They took cruises, performed in beauty pageants, and attended lavish parties while she scraped gum from the bottom of her pool, cleaned hair out of drains, and comforted the crying ten-year-olds who lost to her in battle. She deserved another trip—the last time she journeyed was five years ago. Violet, Lily, and Daisy had a sisterly duty to her that was way overdue.

"This will be so awesome! Me, you, Gary, Clemont…I'm pumped!" Ash exclaimed as he wrapped one arm around Clemont and the other around Misty.

"You can ask Lana to be a sub," Mallow said as she walked passed their group. "She has been training her younger sisters to be Trial Captains, and she wanted to give them more independence. All you'll have to do is show her the ropes…she already knows water-type Pokémon inside and out."

Misty watched Lana from across the room. The young Trial Captain smiled and waved.

"I trust Lana," said Misty. "But it's a lot to ask someone."

"Go for it," Mallow said with a wink. "If not, maybe you can ask one of the retired water-expert Trial Captains."

Misty and Mallow got into a conversation about their teams and stats but all the while Misty was thinking about her future. Would it be worth it to chase Ash once again?

 _'_ _I love my gym but unless I want to make it my life, I need to take another break,_ ' she told herself. ' _And breaks and risks are often one in the same_.'

 **XO**

Unbeknownst to all the twerps, Jessie, James, Meowth, Marenie, Mimikyu, and Bewear still had their cameras up and were watching them from James's iPad.

"We're really screwin' wit dem dis time," Meowth sighed happily. "I guess it ain't so made not havin' our plan succeed and all dat."

"But it would have been better for us to succeed," said James.

"Yeah, I know," Meowth said in a slightly irritated tone. "Dat's always what weeze want."

Jessie and James's heads had been in the clouds all morning. They had ignored Giovanni's chat requests—a sure way to piss off the boss—failed to refuel the balloon, and even forgotten to feed themselves and their Pokémon. Meowth conversed with the other Pokémon in his native language while Jessie and James remained absorbed in the Misty-Ash-Gary-Clemont-Kiawe drama.

"Dey finally did it," said Meowth. Dey've fallen in love fer sure, but insteada bein' happier and more productive, dey got dere in lala-land."

"Why are you talking behind our backs?" Jessie queried in an accusatory tone.

"I'm talkin' about how yous two don't care no more about de team now dat yous in love," he replied.

"Piss off. Nothing has changed. Stop sticking your nose in our business," Jessie chided.

"I don't gots no nose!"

"Wobbafet!"

Jessie huffed and returned Wobbafet to his ball.

"We aren't Pokémon," said Jessie. "We are intelligent humans and we are capable of…of…"

"…being responsible," James filled in.

"Yes, that."

"It don't seem like it ta me. Yous like de twerps—yous got de potion on yersleves and now yous can't tink straight no more."

"What are you talking about?" James queried. "We didn't get any of that stuff on us!"

"Yer wrong, and I knew it de whole time. I just didn't tell yous."

"Then maybe you should give us time alone," Jessie proposed. "Alone-alone, more than out of view…disappear and we'll meet back here in…in an hour."

"Uh-oh."

"Shutup and go."

Meowth, Marenie, Mimikyu, and Bewear scurried off and Jessie's attention turned to James.

"Say everything you need to say," she requested.

"I don't know what I want to say. Can you go first?" he asked.

"What are we? Are we a couple or are we a couple of...people in love?"

"Usually you are the one to answer questions like that."

"It's your turn."

"It's like you said before…we are kinda dating already."

"With Meowth as our third wheel."

"Maybe we can find someone for him."

"That's a challenge if I ever faced one."

They embraced and closed their eyes. It was quiet and still—too quiet and still.

"Awe!"

Jessie and James opened their eyes to an audience. Someone snapped a photo. It was Todd. Go figure.

"I told you they were married!" Bonnie asserted.

"We-we are not!" Jessie retorted. "And never will be."

"It's cute how you blush," Mallow sighed.

"You are obviously into each other," said May. "More so than we all thought."

"What's this?" Sophocles asked as he picked James's iPad off a tree stump.

"You set up video cameras in the Pallet House?" Gary said as he observed the footage. "You're even creepier than I realized."

"Give it back!"

James pulled the device from Gary's grip. Dawn, Lana, Kiawe, Max, May, Brock, Ash, and Misty were already searching their balloon. Jessie and James hurried over to them.

"This is so wrong," Ash said as he picked up a scrapped fictitious love letter. "You wrote all those letters…why?"

"To make us feel awkward because they have nothing better to do with their lames lives," said Gary.

"Aren't you going to recite your motto?" Todd asked. "Or did you stop doing that?"

"We are going to skip straight to the blasting off," Jessie said as she tugged James's arm.

"Don't just stand there and let them get away," Kiawe said after he released his Turtonator. "Turtonator, Fire Blast!"

"Blissey, why don't you soften them up with Draining Kiss?" Brock suggested.

"Pikachu…you know what to do," said Ash.

"Piii!"

"Stop!"

Gary grabbed onto Pikachu just as the Pokémon let out his Thunderbolt. Gary fell to the ground. Ash dropped to his hands and knees next to him.

"You okay? Why did you do that?" he asked frantically.

"If you let them get away they will keep coming back," Gary answered in a strained tone. "You're a good trainer and you can prove it if you try to take them down instead of just sending them off."

Jessie laughed haughtily. "The twerp couldn't capture us if he tried! James, bring out the big guns."

"Yes ma'am."

The pair and their balloon had already lifted ten feet in the air. James pulled out an enormous water gun and blasted Kiawe's Turtonator, Brock's Blissey, Misty's Starmie, and Dawn's Togekiss. Wobbafet popped out of his Pokéball and was defending the duo. Jessie had Sticky Barbs which she tossed them in the twerps' direction, hitting ten out of ten of them.

"Where's Meowth? Did they shoo him away again?" Brock asked the others.

"They don't have their Pokémon either—they would have made them attack us by now," said Misty.

Meowth, Mimikyu, Marenie, and Bewear were a short distance away, watching the scene unfold. Marenie was tearing because she wanted to help James, and Mimikyu was torn because they wanted to assist Jessie, but Meowth convinced them to stay away.

"Dis is how dere gonna learn dere lesson," he said. "And dese twerps are out numberin' us and dere older and gots tougher Pokémon. I'd ratha stay away. If dey go to jail, I don't wanna have ta go wit dem."

Jessie and James's balloon crashed to the ground. They were surrounded by a variety of high-level fairy, fire, water, psychic, fighting, flying, electric, and poison-type Pokémon and over a dozen angry trainers. Angry trainers who didn't seem to be feeling the love the day after Valentine's Day.

"We'll be civil about this," Gary announced. "We won't annihilate you, but you're not moving until there are at least three Jennys on site."

"Wow! Team Rocket will finally be arrested. I never thought this could happen," Serena said as she turned to Clemont. "Clemont? Hellllooo?"

Serena waved her hand in front of the boy's glasses. He stopped staring at Ash petting Piakchu and acknowledged his female companion.

"I think it will be odd," said Clemont. "For…for…me to leave and…..."

"What is the matter?" Bonnie asked her brother.

"Nothing," he answered.

"I know," said Serena. "You heard what Ash was saying about Orre, and you are thinking about whether you should go with them."

"Correct," Clemont confirmed.

"You should go. I wanted to visit. As Kalos Queen, I can't just disappear from Kalos for months, but I can stop by. I bet you'd have a great time there. You should go for it."

Clemont nodded as he processed Serena's words. He stared into her beautiful eyes and tried to make a decision: stay in Kalos with Serena or go with Ash to Orre.

"Can we talk alone?" Clemont murmured.

Serena looked around. Now Team Rocket's entire team were surrounded with no escape; she decided it was safe to take a timeout with Clemont.

 **XO**


	12. Talk

**XO**

Clemont was nervous with beads of sweat forming on his hairline despite the frosty weather. He took his mittens off and rubbed his hands together.

"What's up?" Serena asked.

"What's up is that I have this…my friend has this dilemma," he replied.

"Okay. Is this person someone I know?"

"Yes, but I don't want to say who it is."

"Then just tell me the problem."

"My friend has two crushes, and he has to choose between the two of them. He is not sure if either person likes him back."

"Then why doesn't 'your friend' just ask his crushes if they like him?"

"My friend is a nervous guy."

"Tell 'your friend' that he should face his fear and say what is on his mind."

"Okay."

Clemont took a few deep breaths. Serena looked around—no friends or siblings in sight.

"I like you," said Clemont. "But you like Ash, and I like Ash, and Ash likes…either me, you, Misty, Gary, or Kiawe…possibly May or Dawn or Iris or Lillie too…"

"Oh, this again," Serena replied. "You are trying to choose between me and Ash, right?"

"Right," Clemont mumbled incomprehensively.

"Well, to be honest, I am not into anyone right now…not really."

"Oh. But…but you kissed Ash."

"That was almost two years ago, and a kiss doesn't equal a lifetime commitment. I did fall for someone else, but it's neither you nor him and to be honest I don't think she and I would work out anyway so I'm just holding my tongue for now. I am flattered that you like me, and if you want to hang out more, I will always make time for you. But…I don't want a serious relationship yet."

Clemont had convinced himself that Serena's response would be something more along the lines of 'sorry, but I'm in love with Ash and not you'. He certainly did not expect her to say that the only person she's interested in was another girl.

"It's okay…um…which girl?"

"What?"

"You said 'you don't think she and I would work out'."

"She's a rival. I don't want to talk about her and what I said about you and Ash is true. I think you should go to Orre, not because I don't want you around—I'll miss you a lot if you leave Kalos—but because I think it will be good for you."

"Even if I'm in competition with at least two people?"

Clemont laughed nervously at the end of that sentence and Serena joined in with a more genuine form. She squeezed Clemont's hand, which was starting to freeze again.

"Follow your heart. You have a good heart so it should be easy for you," she told Clemont.

Serena kissed his cheek then the two of them returned to the others. Once Drew noticed that they were back, he decided to seize the opportunity to talk to May alone before the officers showed up and began asking everyone questions. He asked her to follow him several hundred feet from the others.

"What is the matter?" May queried.

"I wanted to let you know that if it weren't for this get-together, I would have totally taken you out for a real date," he confessed.

"Is that no longer an option?"

Drew looked from the ground to her. May was smiling with not a trace of sarcasm in her expression.

"Yeah, if you want. What are you doing tonight?" he asked.

"Hitting the local pharmacies and supermarkets for discounted candy and Valentine's Day gifts."

"Sounds like a date," he said. "I'll come to your house at…"

"Five? We can go to dinner."

"At Chipotle?"

"That's exactly what I was thinking."

They awkwardly smiled and stared at one another, and just after Drew decided to kiss her, they hear several sirens and motorcycles.

"Looks like Team Rocket's about to get arrested…finally," May said as she took his arm. "Let's go watch history unfold."

 **XO**

 **I decided to make another chapter instead of shoving it all into here. Next chapter is the Finale and it is longer than this chapter. Thank you all for reading:)**


	13. El Fin

**This is the last chapter. I hope you enjoy and thank you all for sticking with me this far:)**

 **XO**

History didn't unfold quite the way the twerps wanted it to. Team Rocket had some smoke bombs up their sleeves, plus a knack for hijacking motorcycles, and they managed to get away almost effortlessly. All that was left behind was their balloon and several worthless items that weren't worth their weight in pennies.

"Good news: our Pokémon are safe. Bad news: Team Rocket duped and embarrassed us," said Tracey. "Oh—"

"Don't you know it's only embarrassing if you let it be?" said Misty.

The Jennys left and it was just the twerps and a handful of their Pokémon. Everyone's eyes and ears were on the redhead.

"So they got away, so what? They always get away and it's not our job to detain them. And embassarment…we can all just sit back and laugh at ourselves. Everyone here got embarrassed, so we are all even. I think some good came out of it too."

"I agree completely," Dawn said as she eyeballed her two crushes. "Now I know which guy is willing to date me and which one would rather—"

She almost said 'run away to Orre with another guy', but she held her tongue. It seemed awkward to say in front of a group of around twenty people, even though they were all friends now.

"Yeah, so it's not all bad," Dawn shrugged.

Dawn met eyes with that other crush. Unrealistic some may say, but it's clear to Dawn that she'll have a better chance with him than with Gary.

Bonnie wanted to scream 'Now I have a boyfriend!' but she held her tongue. She didn't want to admit that just because Max asked her out on a date, it doesn't mean they will get married, but that is what she decided to call true for now.

Brock watched several of the girls. Even though everyone had become more mature since the day he met them, the idea of dating a former traveling companion seemed unworkable. The closest female to his age is Misty, and Misty would only date him if Ash was terribly unavailable forever.

It was time for them to say their goodbyes. Ash and Gary walked everyone to the train station and watched them leave separate and in small groups. Then they returned to the Pallet House together, opting to take the long way back.

"That wasn't so bad," Ash admitted. "The party wasn't as lame as I thought it would be, even though Team Rocket took it over."

"I should give you more credit for the way you deal with Team Rocket. They may be dumb, but they are good at running away from their responsibilities. I'll give them that."

The boys talked for a while about Ash's favorite topic—Pokémon, obviously—until they reached the long winding road leading to their neighborhood. Then they were finally alone except for Pikachu and Umbreon, who were lost in their own conversation.

"So…I love talking about speed stats, but I wanna change the conversation for a minute," said Gary.

"Go for it," Ash replied.

"What are you so gay?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"One that you can't answer, apparently."

"No, I can answer it…it's just random…and…why are _you_ so gay?"

"Probably because you are contagious."

"That means you are saying that you are gay."

"Let's go back to talking about your Charizard's max mph over open water."

"Not until we figure this out. We'll be back at the motel in fifteen minutes about, say what you need to say now."

"If you insist."

"I do insist."

"Maybe it's not that, maybe it's just that you're fun to be around."

"Even though we've been rivals our whole lives, and I never heard you say once that you liked me, not until yesterday."

"It's cuz I think that for a while I didn't like you. When we were kids I am pretty sure I really hated you. Something about you always pissed me off."

"I was always annoyed by how you acted better than me."

"If I didn't lift myself no one else would. I didn't have a mom to tell me how smart and strong I was, so I had to tell myself. No one would stand up for me, so I always had to stand up for myself."

"You had Professor Oak."

"I didn't live with him until I started my first journey."

"I thought Aiko was just your babysitter."

"Yeah, a babysitter for life. But she just did her job, which was basically to make sure I survived until I was ten and my grandpa was ready to become my mentor."

"Is that also the reason as to why you like to hang out with my mom?"

"That, and the fact that she makes great tuna melts."

"She does make great tuna melts. I'm sorry for being a jerk for like sixteen years…but you have to apologize too!"

"I'm sorry. Friends?"

Gary stood his ground and held his hand out to Ash. Ash shook it, and right before he let go, Gary jerked him closer—then kissed him before Ash could react.

"You are supposed to ask before you kiss someone!" Ash exclaimed as he backed away.

"I did ask," Gary retorted. "With my eyes."

"All your eyes told me was absolutely nothing."

"I'm sorry, okay? I just wanted to get it off my chest."

Ash wiped his mouth on his shirt. Gary sniggered.

"Now what?" Ash asked peevishly.

"Wiping your mouth? You're so immature."

"You're immature for…for…"

Gary laughed, and soon Ash laughed. Something made him not angry at Gary. He couldn't put his finger on it. They went back to talking about speeds stats. As they exited the forest path, Gary noticed a bottle on the ground. Ash looked over his shoulder and they read the label together.

"Heleni's Special Skuckle Solution," Ash read aloud. "I wonder what that can mean."

"There must be ingredients listed," Gary said as he flipped the bottle around.

Ash couldn't understand the long chemical names, but as a researcher in training, Gary understood each one well. He also knew what they meant, and what they do. Upon his realization, he undid the cap and smelled the remnants of the now empty bottle.

"It smells like sweaty strawberries. This is the shit the bluehead's cat shot us with," Gary said as he handed the bottle to Ash. "It's…it's…"

"What? What is it?" Ash asked.

Gary's conscience told him to tell Ash the true story, but such a truth is enough to ruin a perfect moment. Then again, he realized, potions don't create love out of thin air. They can only push.

"It's basically this mixture of chemicals that make two people…two or more people…like-like each other more than…say they normally would," he said cautiously.

"Like the pheromoms that May and Brock told us about?"

"Yes, but this is a much more concentrated and therefore more powerful form."

"Are you saying it's like a love potion? Those exist?" Ash said as he attempted to read the ingredient label once more. "But…but…we washed this stuff off us. We washed everything…our hair, our skin, our shoes, our clothes, our backpacks…"

"Pika."

"Umbree."

"Our Pokémon!" Gary and Ash said in unison.

"We never…we assumed that since they didn't get hit, that traces didn't stay on them."

The boys lifted Piakchu and sniffed him, then they did the same to Umbreon. Sure enough, the infamous odor was present.

"Does this mean that you and I are not really…like you know, not that we ever were…" said Ash.

"Let's just forget about it all. I like where we are, and more importantly, we are almost home."

Gary pointed ahead to the hotel. Several of Gary and Ash's Pokémon were around. The boys ran the rest of the way.

"Battle?" Ash asked his new companion.

"Duh," he replied.

"And the winner gets…"

"…to kiss the other."

Realization hit Ash. Misty. That's probably what Misty wanted. A kiss for winning. But Ash didn't let this count as a fail. With Orre happening in just one month more, all can be resolved in the future.

 **XO**

"Well, at least yous ain't in jail."

Jessie and James looked wearily at the Pokémon. After running out of fuel, Jessie's bike stopped in the middle of the road. She fell and skinned her knee, and now they were stuck at a rest stop with only one working motorcycle and some technological gizmos.

The Boss called, but Jessie hit 'ignore' on the screen.

"This has been the worst Valentine's Day weekend we've ever had," Jessie sighed. "How pathetic."

"No, it's not the worst. We did spend a Valentine's Day in jail. Don't you remember?" said James.

"Yes, but that's different because…"

"Because den yous weren't expectin' no date wit James lata," said Meowth.

Jessie and James's backup ride managed to catch them before the cops could come. Safe in Mondo's truck, they felt safety and comfort for the first time since their return to Kanto.

"You three look awful. I have a feeling you don't want to go back to headquarters tonight. Do you wanna come to my place?" Mondo asked the TRio.

"Yes! Thank you!" James exclaimed.

"You have a house?" said Jessie.

"I do have a house…my parents' house. I know I'm nineteen but Gio charges for laundry and food and my mother doesn't."

"Mondo, we would love to go to your house, and while we are on the subject, how would you feel about taking a trip with us to Orre? James and I just planned a vacation there."

"Orre…I've never been. Vacation? Sounds like you are still chasing that kid," he retorted.

"Well, it will be fun. And you can bring your Meowth," said Jessie.

Meowth's ears perked up.

"Yous got a Meowth?" he asked Mondo.

"Ah, yeah…she's not part of my team, she's like a friend. She sleeps at my house. I'm not sure if she likes me or the house, but I am sure she'll follow me wherever," he replied. "I can go to Orre with you guys as long as I can convince Gio or some executive to give me a mission while I'm there."

"We've been pulling that bullshit for years," Jessie said happily as she turned to James. "All resolved. It's been a good holiday after all, hasn't it?"

James was still trying to process the conversation.

"It's been perfect," he decided. "To many more."

 **XO**

+Mondo is a character from the Team Rocket Radio Drama series that airs in Japan. He is a Rocket agent who is a personal assistant to Jessie and James for a brief period of time and also a friend.

+Heleni is an OC who appears/will appear in my other fics. The details of her character don't matter which is why I didn't introduce her much here.

+I have another TR-related fanfic which I will definitely have published before the end of February. In the meantime, please consider checking out some of my other fics. Most of them focus on fankids but I will be making a few like this that focus on canon characters. Happy Valentine's Day (belated by now, probably!)

+Please Review if you can. It will make me very happy:)


End file.
